I was painting right now and somehow the Hide and Seek remix of Whatchya Say reminded me of this guy I like(d?). He broke up with his long distant girlfriend but clearly still has some feelings for her now. Although, during his last semester abroad he had been hooking up with other girls. Now, apparently, he and his girlfriend might get back together... apparently, that is.
This got me really thinking... when does a forgiving person become a person with no/less self-respect? I've heard it's wrong to hold grudges and good to forgive and forget... so does that mean we should forgive and forget every mistake, every harsh action? Irrespective of it being intentional or unintentional?
I think of myself as a person who is forgiving but also has an appropriate amount of self respect (i.e without being arrogant). But in some situations I'm never able to decide what I would do. If I was her^ would I forgive him (if he even told me)? Should I forgive him? What's right, what's wrong, what does society want, what do I want. so many questions, so many parameters but nothing either way I'm scarred right?
Every mistake I've ever made has impacted me, changed something about me. Every mistake that another person has made in relation to my life has also impacted me or changed me. I might be able to forgive but I haven't forgotten it all right? Ironically, even if I say I have forgiven, it might still sting me mentally when I remember, does that mean I haven't truly forgiven? Sometimes I feel I can counter my own opinion with my other opinion --- We fall, we bleed, we scar. It might heal, we might remember the fall each time we look at that scar, but somewhere down the line it becomes just another blemish; a part of our body like drop of deep red blood blending in the bluest sea...
- Ignoring the above digression -
I probe my fickle mind further, I realize I can't come to conclusion. I've never felt what she felt to really know if my decision to forgive was right or weak. But I do conclude that the line between right and wrong is relative to each now of us and because feeling aren't a science, we can't average out everyones opinions and use that as our yard stick. We must do what we must do. So in the end a forgiving person is a fool with/no self-respect because our yard sticks are completely different...
This got me really thinking... when does a forgiving person become a person with no/less self-respect? I've heard it's wrong to hold grudges and good to forgive and forget... so does that mean we should forgive and forget every mistake, every harsh action? Irrespective of it being intentional or unintentional?
I think of myself as a person who is forgiving but also has an appropriate amount of self respect (i.e without being arrogant). But in some situations I'm never able to decide what I would do. If I was her^ would I forgive him (if he even told me)? Should I forgive him? What's right, what's wrong, what does society want, what do I want. so many questions, so many parameters but nothing either way I'm scarred right?
Every mistake I've ever made has impacted me, changed something about me. Every mistake that another person has made in relation to my life has also impacted me or changed me. I might be able to forgive but I haven't forgotten it all right? Ironically, even if I say I have forgiven, it might still sting me mentally when I remember, does that mean I haven't truly forgiven? Sometimes I feel I can counter my own opinion with my other opinion --- We fall, we bleed, we scar. It might heal, we might remember the fall each time we look at that scar, but somewhere down the line it becomes just another blemish; a part of our body like drop of deep red blood blending in the bluest sea...
- Ignoring the above digression -
I probe my fickle mind further, I realize I can't come to conclusion. I've never felt what she felt to really know if my decision to forgive was right or weak. But I do conclude that the line between right and wrong is relative to each now of us and because feeling aren't a science, we can't average out everyones opinions and use that as our yard stick. We must do what we must do. So in the end a forgiving person is a fool with/no self-respect because our yard sticks are completely different...
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